literature

The Stubborn Lover working title pre-edit

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SelfLoating's avatar
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Literature Text

Look at what the cat dragged in,
A filthy and mangled mouse,
Left waiting for her master,
On the floor of the house.

But when her master finds it,
His response will be cold,
His eyes full of disgust,
And anger, his emotion holds.

(his eyes will be full of disgust,
Anger, his emotions will hold.)

Only looking for affection,
The cat will again try,
Only searching for the love,
Of her master's eye.

And so the cat sits silently,
Stalking her small prey,
Only wishing to make her master,
Happy for a day.
A little something I threw together late one night,
the parentheses are what I'm thinking about putting in, it's between that and the last two lines of the second stanza. I also think the first stanza needs rhythm work, I don't like my repetition of the word eye. Please be brutal, you know I like it like that ;)
© 2012 - 2024 SelfLoating
Comments6
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Smokedancer's avatar
Well, well, well.
Would you look at what
the cat dragged in:

A filthy little mouse!
Why do your bring me these awful things, creature?
and leave them in our house?
We have enough decorations as it is.

A goodfornothing fleabag -
That's what you are.
Go back to eating garbage
in the alley back in Pittsburgh.

Pick yourself up, my dear!
Just look at what you're doing-
tracking dirt into the house, my dear!
Your better wash up before dinner.

I'll pet you and feed you
only after you're thoroughly cleaned.
Go on, lick yourself!
That's how you dirty animals do it, isn't it?

I don't mean to be so ruthless,
but just look at yourself.
What good are you for anyway?

Disgusting.

Well,
I guess you've been in enough trouble for one day.

It's not like it's your fault you've been so bad.
And with eyes like those, who can stay mad?
So stay right here and I'll be back
I'll get you something as a snack
and you can lick your paws right-clean,
and go back to being my favorite queen.